Are We Going to Abilene?

We've all been there. We are in a discussion about something and we sense that the path we’re taking is the wrong direction. Either through what we believe the evidence to be or by instinct, we know that the decision being made is going to be a bad decision. But then, we just sit there and say nothing.

Right after I received my Wings of Gold in the Navy I was sent to their Leadership, Management, Education, and Training (LMET) course. This was the first course on leadership and management that I received in the Navy and it was a good course. I was a young Ensign and had already been a supervisor before joining the Navy. In one of the sessions we were discussing what I mentioned in the first paragraph and they had us watch a short movie called ‘The Road to Abilene’. As I recall, it was about a group of people that were sitting around, bored, on a hot Friday or Saturday afternoon trying to decide what to do when someone suggests that they take a trip to Abilene (about an hour away) for dinner. No one really protests but no one really wants to spend the hour on a hot and dusty car trip. When they get to the cafe, the food is just as bad as the drive. Then they drive back home and are exhausted.

One of them says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it?" The others now said they would rather have stayed home but went along with it since the everyone else seemed so eager. Then they all sit around and try to figure out why it was that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to stay at home, but did not admit to it when they had the chance to say so.

I have experienced this in the Navy and in my corporate career. Someone comes up with what they think is a good idea and the rest of us aren't really sure, or know we shouldn't, but we all just go with it. No one wants to speak up and be the voice of reason or dissent, and challenge the group think or momentum that the idea is beginning to build. There have been times when I was in decision meetings on what tactic to use to destroy a target, or what opportunities to pursue, and I knew inherently that the decisions being made were bad but I didn’t speak up. In the Navy some of those could have life or death consequences, while the corporate consequence was usually fiduciary. Regardless, I should have spoken up. Why didn’t I?

It is hard for a lot of us to say no in these circumstances. Perhaps we aren’t sure of our reasoning. Perhaps we fear the group pressure that would follow. Maybe we fear not being seen as a team player. The reality is most people want to be liked and perceived as part of the team so at times we seem to agree to things even if we think the decision is bad. Whatever the psychology or the reason is, the fact is that by agreeing to going down a path that is undoubtedly wrong is detrimental to you, your team and your organization. And they deserve better from you.

It is not always easy but if something isn't right about the direction being taken, or if it doesn’t seem right, speak up. There are ways to do it tactfully that won’t make you seem like a counterproductive member of the team. You just might be surprised at how many others feet the same way but chose, for whatever reason, not to rock the boat. And the last thing you want to do is waste time and resources on a venture that is likely doomed to fail.

So if you have a doubt, be the one to speak up and ask, “Are we going to Abilene?”

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